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God damn Green Day not happy!!
I think this would make an excellent single-serving tumblr.
“The female human melodic vocalization delivery vehicle known as ‘Taylor Swift’ continues to make questionable choices in potential mates, although she has recently made it known that she has excluded, excluded, excluded a fellow member of her vocalization pack previously in the running for genetic reproduction via a widely-heard mourning/mating call. Like, ever.”
During a large gathering of carbon-based metazoan life forms for the purpose of the stimulation of aural sensory apparatuses, a high status vertebrate announced through his voice amplification system that one or more of his gametes had successfully fertilized the egg of a female chordate of the same species, who is notable for appearing on trashy reality tv.
I like where this is headed.
“During an interrogative communication session recorded on a photonic motion-capture device beamed via long-wave electromagnetic waves to near-Earth satellites reflecting their signals to millions of pixelated image-reproduction screens, a terrestrial carbon-based life form of exceptional aerobic fitness admitted to injections of synthetic erythropoietin in order to obtain a performance advantage via increased maximum oxygen solubility during competitive displays upon dual-wheeled, mechanically-cranked transportation devices, notably in France. This multicellular organism is particularly well-regarded among his species for his fondness of yellow and overcoming metastatic neoplasia of the testicle and lungs.”